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  • Writer's pictureFlyy Girl

Joy and Pain in Detroit

Without pain, happiness has no meaning. In this #FlyyLife post I juxtapose my last summer in Detroit with my most recent trip home to show that there is a time and a season for everything. There is always a purpose in the pain.

I have spent the last two weekends in Detroit. && to be honest, it was a nonstop party from the moment I landed.

I threw a FlyyGirl Meetup with Bunnie the Blogger,

I got to see my cousin Kim get married,

I hung out all night with GIA Detroit and ate Dutch Girl Donuts,

I celebrated both my sister and my grandmother's birthdays

I went to Naturally Flyy Detroit, which is a yearly Natural Hair Meetup at Artist Village with my brother

and I even got the chance to see the oldest member of my family meet the youngest member for the first time.

Being able to fully participate in these celebrations meant a lot to me bc the last time I was in the city for an extended period there was no celebration, instead there was a lot of pain.

Last summer was one of the toughest periods of my life thus far. After a near fatal car accident and two failed surgeries in 2017 that rendered me unable to walk without extreme pain, I returned to Detroit the summer of 2018 for a second opinion.

Unfortunately their recommendation was that I get two more surgeries to correct what had been done prior and that I get daily infusions in my arm to kill off the infection that was impairing my leg from properly healing.

In the end I had 3 surgeries total on my femur, had to learn how to walk again each time, I had to give myself daily infusions to kill off an infection AND I had to stop working for almost 6 months to allow my leg time to heal; so money was SCARCE!

Due to the turmoil and meds I was on I cried just about everyday, got into pointless arguments with people I loved and felt SO alone.

Thank God feelings are temporal! Even though I felt alone, looking back I really wasn't. Even back then my family my friends, my Flyy Fam were with me every step of the way.

They were there when I took the first step in the direction of my dreams and launched my mentorship organization last summer, FlyyGirl Fly

They were there when I planned and executed the very first orientation for FlyyGirl Fly,

They were there at my pre surgery kareoke parties that I threw just to keep my spirits up before going under the knife each time,

They were there during their special events and made sure I was still able to be part even from the hospital,

Some drove many hours (with their kids in the car) to check up on me,

And one particular person snuck me out of the nursing home for a girls night out just so I could have a good time and feel like myself again 😂(video evidence here)

They made me feel loved.

They showed me that they cared.

They were there for me.

For the majority of the summer (really most of last year) I was in a wheelchair or using crutches. That one change almost completely dismantled my identity, but I decided to change my perspective.

Once I did that I realized that I was blessed to even be alive and THE SHOW MUST GO ON!

Looking back, the pain that I went through was nothing compared to the joy I experienced in the end. Even going through the storm, I know now that I was never alone. Once I changed my attitude and stopped reacting to everything around me, I had peace which is invaluable.

If you are going through a difficult time in your life just know that, everything in your life has prepared you for this moment. TROUBLE DON'T LAST ALWAYS and JOY COMES IN THE MORNING! Hang in there!

Never ever forget, there is ALWAYS a purpose to the pain. YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH AND COME OUT SHINING LIKE GOLD!

Thank you to all my homies that came through in the clutch. Yal some real ones!

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