LEVELING UP: Learning to Love me. Radically.
If I have learned nothing during this going on two year health ordeal, it has been the importance of PEACE and SELF-CARE. Now that I am bringing the surgical chapter of my life to a close, it's time to get back into the flow of things! This is part two in a series that will document my journey of literally "Leveling UP" after being forced to hit the pause button for almost a year and a half!
Before the accident, so much of my life was built around making others happy, buying them things, taking them on trips , and pushing others towards success. I felt like I was blessed for a reason- and that reason was to literally give my ALL to others.
Now let me be clear- there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a giving spirit. I would argue that giving and blessing others is essential for growth. However, when I came to the place where I was physically, emotionally, and monetarily unable to help other people, it almost felt as if my life had no meaning anymore. Who was I if I couldn't give to those around me? My life felt like it was falling to shambles because I didn't know how to love me- I barely knew who I was!
So I fell and it wasn't pretty. I didn't understand why those I helped were not able to help me in the way I wanted them to. I didn't understand why I couldn't help myself or how I got into such a rut to begin with. I learned to be patient. I learned to be quiet. I learned to trust the process and have faith that everything would eventually work out in my favor.
While I have made some strides in this area- namely learning to fight for my peace- it is important to note that self love is a journey. RADICAL self-love, which is learning to love yourself in spite of yourself has been key in my healing process.
Radical Self-Love says, even though I am not the best version of myself right now, even though I might still have 20 lbs to lose, even though I have a broken leg that just won't do right, I don't have to wait til I am "my best self" to love myself. I am still going to love and care for myself through that process.
I will not wait one more second to love me. I will not deny myself the love and care that I need and deserve. I will change the things I cannot accept and learn the lessons along the way. Realizing that truth, and loving myself despite my flaws has really been key in my journey to leveling up.
Because I love myself, I do not allow others to dictate who I am.
Because I love myself, I no longer am accepting of less than what I deserve.
I will not enter relationships that are not beneficial for me.
I will not give to others without giving to myself first.
I will not ignore my spiritual inclinations.
I will nurture my soul.
I will seek out those things that bring me joy.
I will live a life of thankfulness and gratitude.
Because I love myself, I am patient with myself and I give myself space and time to heal.
Because I love myself, when I look in the mirror, I don't see a broken mess.
I see progress
I see growth
I see hope.
I see love.
I see light.
Because I love myself.